First-congratulations! And second, we were in Portugal earlier this year and it is now our first choice in our plan to move out of the US. I’ve never felt so comfortable in a place before-like everyone we saw could have been a relative . Interesting also was that when we did a few different tours, our tour guides were very open and honest about Portugal’s history of colonization-They didn’t try and sugar-coat anything. Enjoy your visit, and maybe someday we will be neighbors!
I used to be all “I’m not running away!” but not anymore. We are on the 5 year plan. Ghana, Mexico, Canada, Costa Rico are on our lists. I’m tired of being frustrated and worried. Sisters in Egypt and Abu Dhabi said exactly what you have. They are extremely happy. Congratulations to you and Gabriel!
I'll follow your decision process with interest. My spouse and I starting looking for a Green Book for retirement a few years ago and I was surprised not to find anything online. A million web sites about how to retire and nobody was talking about "is this still an option if you aren't white?" It didn't occur to me that was because there is really nowhere that is safe; some part of me hoped that somewhere I'd never lived yet would be a better option. Thanks for the clarity; it will help us think differently.
I've also been thinking a lot about life abroad. I'm on a 9 year plan as my child will be off to college around that time and Portugal is on my list of places to re-establish myself in. Thank you for sharing this!
I'm leaving in early September, the end point of a loosely planned two-year off-ramp from the US. First stop is the UK for a year, for a masters degree (in writing—I know I don't need the degree to write, but I do desperately want the protected creative time among others doing the same thing I am); then I'll figure the rest out after, but definitely not the US. I just couldn't stand to continue to wake up every day in the US, as a Black woman, and continue to feel like I was both socially invisible—in the way that people often literally look right through me as I walk past—but societally necessary (in that so much work continues to be demanded of Black women toward holding up society's failing roof.). It was absolutely killing my drive to create, because it was killing my spirit and soul. I've traveled to the UK and Europe several times in the past year, and what has been so notable is how *seen* I've felt in all those places. I'll miss my friends and community—my family already live outside the US—but I'm very ready to go, and I'm so glad more people are planning their exits, too.
When you find that place take me with you because I've been researching the same thing for all the same reasons. I would love to go back to my home country in the Caribbean where I would feel free as a Black person. But it's still unsafe for queer people and I don't want to live where people I love would have to "act straight" to feel safe.
Thank you for an insightful post, I appreciated reading it. I’m currently in Nice, France, but I live in the south of England. It’s very interesting to read your experience, and always galling to comprehend how vivid those experiences are for black Americans / African Americans living in America. Our world culture is so littered with falsifications about the American dream and I’m so glad when people punch holes in that and relate reality. I find myself slightly more self aware of my ethnicity in France, despite speaking French and Italian, but I think this is partly because there is (I hate to say it) a different type of rudeness - or rather, in England there is a more discernible anxiety not to upset people (usually) - that can be read as ‘othering’. I try to reach out and into those situations to feel them out with people when I can, but it’s not easy. I’m very curious to see how you’ve found Brixton, and how you find Portugal. I think it might be interesting for you to visit some less urban areas of England, too. We live in Lewes, I reckon you’d like it x
This piece is ferociously good. Feeling safe while traveling is important to everyone (particularly women + queer folk), have long thought about the larger fear of "will I survive this?" for Black people. Paris is a personal-fave city. My most-at-home area is St Germaine. If you get over there, DEFINITELY check out Brasserie Atlas. *Such* great food/service, all welcome according to my direct observation.
And have a blast in Portugal. Food/wine there = globally famous.
A friend of mine that I met in the US did the same. She moved with her whole family to Portugal since they didn't feel safe (they are Black American/Iran/Persians) and although she is still in the progress of finding friends etc, she likes it.
Best of luck in your journey towards feeling more safe.
All the best to you and Gabriele. I look forward to hearing about your time in Portugal. It does look like a beautiful country. I, too, am looking for a move out of the US. Right now I'm exploring Sicily. Was there in March for two weeks and will go to some different areas of Sicily for the month of November. My husband and daughters are Latine. I am a white woman in my 60's and my 30 year marriage to an indigenous S. American man and 2 brown daughters along with 25 years of work in language access with marginalized immigrant communities from all around the world, along with Deaf/Hard-of-Hearing and Blind/visually impaired have given me a vastly different perspective on the country than than the white-washed one I grew up with in rural, literally all-white Missouri. I'm looking for a place where I can do my current remote work in a community that is working hard to make sure no one is left behind and everyone feels seen and safe. Part of my exploration while there will be to see how Black and Brown people are treated in the places I visit. I realize that could be a challenge since I'm not Black or brown, but I have lived the past 20 years in an extremely racist, homophobic, misogynistic, ableist small town in the center of US. I am saddened that so little of the change that I hoped to help make here has happened.. Not interested in moving to that same place on a different continent. So I'll take my time over next year or so to meet people, research, etc. Sicily is a beautiful island and on that first trip we found the people in most parts very open and friendly. But of course, that could be mostly due to my unearned privileges as a white US American. Many refugees from N. Africa are in Sicily since, like Portugal, it is one of the closest destinations that folks think may provide a better life. I am aware that there are some of the same xenophobic forces at work there in regard to non-white immigrants and the undocumented. Unlike many islands, cost of living is pretty low as the climate is temperate and tons of amazing fruit, vegetables plus locally sourced meat varieties are raised on the island and have been for centuries - no need to import everything like many other island paradises one hears about. Thus the food is spectacular there -- as are the views of ancient ruins on the distant snow-capped hills, active volcanoes, Mediterranean and other shore lines. I will hold you and your family "in the light" as the Quakers say, that you may find what you are looking for. If you decide to add Sicily to your 5-year plan list - I'd be glad to share what I learn in the future. However, sounds like you are on a travel roll and it is so close to Portugal...
Belize and Guatemala are top on our list for our 5 yr plan for many of the reasons you indicated in your article. As always, I truly appreciate your voice, wisdom and light. Congratulations on your recent marriage and honey moon.
First-congratulations! And second, we were in Portugal earlier this year and it is now our first choice in our plan to move out of the US. I’ve never felt so comfortable in a place before-like everyone we saw could have been a relative . Interesting also was that when we did a few different tours, our tour guides were very open and honest about Portugal’s history of colonization-They didn’t try and sugar-coat anything. Enjoy your visit, and maybe someday we will be neighbors!
I used to be all “I’m not running away!” but not anymore. We are on the 5 year plan. Ghana, Mexico, Canada, Costa Rico are on our lists. I’m tired of being frustrated and worried. Sisters in Egypt and Abu Dhabi said exactly what you have. They are extremely happy. Congratulations to you and Gabriel!
I'll follow your decision process with interest. My spouse and I starting looking for a Green Book for retirement a few years ago and I was surprised not to find anything online. A million web sites about how to retire and nobody was talking about "is this still an option if you aren't white?" It didn't occur to me that was because there is really nowhere that is safe; some part of me hoped that somewhere I'd never lived yet would be a better option. Thanks for the clarity; it will help us think differently.
I've also been thinking a lot about life abroad. I'm on a 9 year plan as my child will be off to college around that time and Portugal is on my list of places to re-establish myself in. Thank you for sharing this!
I'm leaving in early September, the end point of a loosely planned two-year off-ramp from the US. First stop is the UK for a year, for a masters degree (in writing—I know I don't need the degree to write, but I do desperately want the protected creative time among others doing the same thing I am); then I'll figure the rest out after, but definitely not the US. I just couldn't stand to continue to wake up every day in the US, as a Black woman, and continue to feel like I was both socially invisible—in the way that people often literally look right through me as I walk past—but societally necessary (in that so much work continues to be demanded of Black women toward holding up society's failing roof.). It was absolutely killing my drive to create, because it was killing my spirit and soul. I've traveled to the UK and Europe several times in the past year, and what has been so notable is how *seen* I've felt in all those places. I'll miss my friends and community—my family already live outside the US—but I'm very ready to go, and I'm so glad more people are planning their exits, too.
When you find that place take me with you because I've been researching the same thing for all the same reasons. I would love to go back to my home country in the Caribbean where I would feel free as a Black person. But it's still unsafe for queer people and I don't want to live where people I love would have to "act straight" to feel safe.
Thank you for an insightful post, I appreciated reading it. I’m currently in Nice, France, but I live in the south of England. It’s very interesting to read your experience, and always galling to comprehend how vivid those experiences are for black Americans / African Americans living in America. Our world culture is so littered with falsifications about the American dream and I’m so glad when people punch holes in that and relate reality. I find myself slightly more self aware of my ethnicity in France, despite speaking French and Italian, but I think this is partly because there is (I hate to say it) a different type of rudeness - or rather, in England there is a more discernible anxiety not to upset people (usually) - that can be read as ‘othering’. I try to reach out and into those situations to feel them out with people when I can, but it’s not easy. I’m very curious to see how you’ve found Brixton, and how you find Portugal. I think it might be interesting for you to visit some less urban areas of England, too. We live in Lewes, I reckon you’d like it x
This piece is ferociously good. Feeling safe while traveling is important to everyone (particularly women + queer folk), have long thought about the larger fear of "will I survive this?" for Black people. Paris is a personal-fave city. My most-at-home area is St Germaine. If you get over there, DEFINITELY check out Brasserie Atlas. *Such* great food/service, all welcome according to my direct observation.
And have a blast in Portugal. Food/wine there = globally famous.
You and Gabriel deserve only and all the best.
This is sobering to read.
Not too surprising, though, considering what a f**ked up nation this is over here.
I'm glad that y'all are feeling safe while traveling.
Having lived in a squat in Brixton waaaaay back in '89-90, I would LOVE to know where y'all went, how it was!
I love Brixton.
Safe travels; happy familymoon/honeymoon.
💙
Congratulations to the both of you!
A friend of mine that I met in the US did the same. She moved with her whole family to Portugal since they didn't feel safe (they are Black American/Iran/Persians) and although she is still in the progress of finding friends etc, she likes it.
Best of luck in your journey towards feeling more safe.
Why Portugal? I know my friend Robin has gone there twice this year. I will ask her too.
That’s how I feel when I go to Barbados (my Fatherland). Freer than I’ve ever felt anywhere else.
All the best to you and Gabriele. I look forward to hearing about your time in Portugal. It does look like a beautiful country. I, too, am looking for a move out of the US. Right now I'm exploring Sicily. Was there in March for two weeks and will go to some different areas of Sicily for the month of November. My husband and daughters are Latine. I am a white woman in my 60's and my 30 year marriage to an indigenous S. American man and 2 brown daughters along with 25 years of work in language access with marginalized immigrant communities from all around the world, along with Deaf/Hard-of-Hearing and Blind/visually impaired have given me a vastly different perspective on the country than than the white-washed one I grew up with in rural, literally all-white Missouri. I'm looking for a place where I can do my current remote work in a community that is working hard to make sure no one is left behind and everyone feels seen and safe. Part of my exploration while there will be to see how Black and Brown people are treated in the places I visit. I realize that could be a challenge since I'm not Black or brown, but I have lived the past 20 years in an extremely racist, homophobic, misogynistic, ableist small town in the center of US. I am saddened that so little of the change that I hoped to help make here has happened.. Not interested in moving to that same place on a different continent. So I'll take my time over next year or so to meet people, research, etc. Sicily is a beautiful island and on that first trip we found the people in most parts very open and friendly. But of course, that could be mostly due to my unearned privileges as a white US American. Many refugees from N. Africa are in Sicily since, like Portugal, it is one of the closest destinations that folks think may provide a better life. I am aware that there are some of the same xenophobic forces at work there in regard to non-white immigrants and the undocumented. Unlike many islands, cost of living is pretty low as the climate is temperate and tons of amazing fruit, vegetables plus locally sourced meat varieties are raised on the island and have been for centuries - no need to import everything like many other island paradises one hears about. Thus the food is spectacular there -- as are the views of ancient ruins on the distant snow-capped hills, active volcanoes, Mediterranean and other shore lines. I will hold you and your family "in the light" as the Quakers say, that you may find what you are looking for. If you decide to add Sicily to your 5-year plan list - I'd be glad to share what I learn in the future. However, sounds like you are on a travel roll and it is so close to Portugal...
Belize and Guatemala are top on our list for our 5 yr plan for many of the reasons you indicated in your article. As always, I truly appreciate your voice, wisdom and light. Congratulations on your recent marriage and honey moon.
Have you got a LiveWithoutFear fund and