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“But I tell you what I couldn’t have done: I couldn’t have done it all while waking up every day and deciding to declare war on my mind and my body. I’ve done it before. It takes up so much energy. It is a full time job. And it doesn’t even pay well.”

THIS. This is the exact reminder I needed today. Thank you. ❤️

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Amen and Amen! I have stopped battling my body and I feel whole and loved. I deeply appreciate you and am grateful for your clarity and authenticity. I’m also the heaviest I’ve ever been and also the most self connected.

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Dec 15, 2022Liked by Ijeoma Oluo

Since this article is a reflection on your year, it seems as good as place as any to express my appreciation for all your updates this year! Your writing is always so thoughtful and heartfelt, and I'm always glad to see another update in my inbox! Your work is a wonderful gift to your readers and the world at large.

I'm so glad you've had a fulfilling year and have found ways to build a healthier relationship with your body! To quote your last article, I hope your holidays are filled with foods that are "as satisfying and kind to [your] body as possible" 😊

PS That wedding dress really is incredible!

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Thank you for this! I too had my fattest year, but also my most joyful and my most authentic. It feels so flipping great. And I'm so happy for you and me and all of us learning to ditch the war on our bodies. It's so good.

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Not making war on my mind and body so that I have more energy to do things that matter so much more to me is something I’ve been learning too. Thanks for putting it into words.

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Thank you so much for this ❤️ I have just started to stop the full time job of being at war with my body, and as always it is so heartening to hear other fat people write about their lives beyond pain. There is a job I am just discovering of looking at places of my body that I obsessed over and shrugging and saying “eh. Oh well,” to those intrusive thoughts.

I am so grateful to be allowed to see your journey. I often think that being a public figure must be kind of lonely with all that scrutiny, but I am so grateful for the community that I have found through your words. I hope 2023 is better than 2022!

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You have no idea how much I needed to see this today, as I’m looking at recent pics that prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I. Am. FAT. I am also post-menopausal so short of starving myself, I probably won’t be losing this weight anytime soon. AND I’m black, female, dark-skinned, natural-haired, etc. Yet I’m going into 2023 with one goal: to make it my best year yet. Thank you for all you do. 😊

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Yes! My phrase this year I keep coming back to is that I can't hate myself to love. So many messages in the world that I am NOT OK for existing in a fat body, but hating myself never works.

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Thank you for showing us how to stop struggling unnecessarily. Fuck a culture that makes it so easy to get fat, so impossible to get thin, and stays so judgmental of any way we feel about it, let alone how we look and exist god forbid we make peace with it.

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What a joy to read such a great piece and then see that loads of people have already said what I feel. I'm the heaviest I've ever been, and it's in part due to finally improving on some major personal shit. It's been a difficult and incredible year, and I'm thrilled to see that's also true of many here.

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Thank you. This has been my year of body acceptance but it’s been bumpy. You words are a balm. 💜

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This is glorious. Thank you for putting it into words and sharing it with us. So many of us can relate.

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What a timely post as I was trying to decide whether or not to wage war with my body--again. Appreciate your honesty and love for living a fantastic life.

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Thank you. Just, thank you.

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So much this! Imagine what folks could get done if they all just stopped wasting brainpower on worrying about their weight. (Which is not to say that I'm immune to this, but refusing to diet is one of the best things I've ever done.)

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I’m so sick of judging my own body and also the bodies of others. That shit just gets in the way of really seeing and appreciating people. Thank you for this.

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