One thing I didn't put in here, but I think is really worth mentioning: is the environmental cost of capitalist definitions of self care. What are these products and services we're told we need costing the planet?
I was working as a social worker for a Seattle homeless/mental health nonprofit when “self care” came into vogue. We had to sit through a two hour mandatory all-staff meeting admonishing us to do a better job of self care. On our own time. On our own dime. The majority of people working there were making $11-12/hour doing physically and emotionally demanding work while putting themselves in actual physical danger. I was being paid more, but with a crushing load of paperwork requirements. Just one more thing to shove onto our already loaded plates. In capitalism, even the “not for profits” are fully corporatized.
Self care as seen by capitalism gets gendered in weird ways too and leans towards excluding masc folks. I mean, it would be nice if anyone of any gender could get a mani pedi or create a home spa or whatever but so much of it is coded female that sometimes instead of allowing for the recuperation of energy it just triggers gender dysphoria.
Agree with everything as always because you’re brilliant. Will add that the definition of self-care used here is one that’s been co-opted by capitalism. In addition to leaning more towards community care, I’d like to see a reclaiming of self-care as defined by practices not products. For me, most days self-care is just remembering to eat in between meetings or taking a nap or sitting quietly outside. Don’t get me wrong though, I also have a 7-step skincare routine. ☺️ Thanks for your wise words, as always. ❤️
Thank you for this, Ijeoma. Very much feel held by the affirmation of hearing this from you.
I’m often irritated when self-care is brought up in workplaces, especially in the context of student support. Gets weirdly weaponized against the handful BIPoC staff who are seen as more “passionate” about that work, as an excuse for systems to not do enough.
I have never actually believed in this self care thing. I mean a whole lot of things we naturally do is self care as well. For example, sleep is a form of self care and it’s free. These days self care has come to mean all sorts and yes, expensive things or places to go on for vacation.
Yes! I have had many mini "careers" in my adult life and gone in many different directions, but a common thread between them all is the desire to contribute to, or foster community. Lack of a sense of community is one of the big scars stretching across this country. I wonder how we heal it?
I am a new subscriber—thank you for this forum, Ijeoma. I hesitated to comment because I am a massage therapist, self care is my deal. But I work for myself, out of my home, not corporate and I have created a beautiful space for some truly beautiful people. I have been doing this job for the last 31 years, listening, caring, working out the knots, and working out my own stuff too. I was molested at age 14, touched inappropriately. It took me the better part of two decades to realize touching with the right intention has been my calling all along. Helping folks grieving the loss of a partner, working thru an illness, or just having a shitty day, your body is with you thru it all, taking it all in, storing the energy of it, whether you want to or not. I just wanted to say, as a caregiver, I am hoping my work helps the community, but I’m just helping one person at a time.
One thing I didn't put in here, but I think is really worth mentioning: is the environmental cost of capitalist definitions of self care. What are these products and services we're told we need costing the planet?
I was working as a social worker for a Seattle homeless/mental health nonprofit when “self care” came into vogue. We had to sit through a two hour mandatory all-staff meeting admonishing us to do a better job of self care. On our own time. On our own dime. The majority of people working there were making $11-12/hour doing physically and emotionally demanding work while putting themselves in actual physical danger. I was being paid more, but with a crushing load of paperwork requirements. Just one more thing to shove onto our already loaded plates. In capitalism, even the “not for profits” are fully corporatized.
Self care as seen by capitalism gets gendered in weird ways too and leans towards excluding masc folks. I mean, it would be nice if anyone of any gender could get a mani pedi or create a home spa or whatever but so much of it is coded female that sometimes instead of allowing for the recuperation of energy it just triggers gender dysphoria.
Agree with everything as always because you’re brilliant. Will add that the definition of self-care used here is one that’s been co-opted by capitalism. In addition to leaning more towards community care, I’d like to see a reclaiming of self-care as defined by practices not products. For me, most days self-care is just remembering to eat in between meetings or taking a nap or sitting quietly outside. Don’t get me wrong though, I also have a 7-step skincare routine. ☺️ Thanks for your wise words, as always. ❤️
Thank you for this, Ijeoma. Very much feel held by the affirmation of hearing this from you.
I’m often irritated when self-care is brought up in workplaces, especially in the context of student support. Gets weirdly weaponized against the handful BIPoC staff who are seen as more “passionate” about that work, as an excuse for systems to not do enough.
This was a good read today.
I have never actually believed in this self care thing. I mean a whole lot of things we naturally do is self care as well. For example, sleep is a form of self care and it’s free. These days self care has come to mean all sorts and yes, expensive things or places to go on for vacation.
Yes! I have had many mini "careers" in my adult life and gone in many different directions, but a common thread between them all is the desire to contribute to, or foster community. Lack of a sense of community is one of the big scars stretching across this country. I wonder how we heal it?
I am a new subscriber—thank you for this forum, Ijeoma. I hesitated to comment because I am a massage therapist, self care is my deal. But I work for myself, out of my home, not corporate and I have created a beautiful space for some truly beautiful people. I have been doing this job for the last 31 years, listening, caring, working out the knots, and working out my own stuff too. I was molested at age 14, touched inappropriately. It took me the better part of two decades to realize touching with the right intention has been my calling all along. Helping folks grieving the loss of a partner, working thru an illness, or just having a shitty day, your body is with you thru it all, taking it all in, storing the energy of it, whether you want to or not. I just wanted to say, as a caregiver, I am hoping my work helps the community, but I’m just helping one person at a time.
Thank you. I needed to read this today.