How We Get Through This

Beyond the Book: Buckle up y'all. Shit's about to get really rough.

Photo by Tobe Mokolo on Unsplash description: waist-down photo of two people with brown skin holding hands.

I woke up this morning to a new round of nightmare-grade news on the state of our “democracy” in the United States. I clicked into headlines with the sort of dread reserved for hospital test results. Tell me doc: how bad is it?

Pretty fucking bad.

It seems like we barely have time to wrap our heads around the possible ramifications of the latest bad news before there is more bad news flung at us. There are multiple genocides happening around the world, the horrible footage of which is being piped into our consciousness via our phones (and even more terrifying are the genocides that we aren’t being shown), our government is proudly funding some of these and is definitely a large part of the global colonial-capitalist machine behind all of them, and our evil government is also rapidly falling descending into new depths of fascism while also falling apart at the same time?? Oh, and we’re still in a global pandemic and THE ENVIRONMENT is still very much a thing.

Hey, I’m sorry. You probably didn’t need me to say all that. If you’re like me, that buzzing in your ears that makes it impossible to concentrate on anything of substance has been saying “everything is on fire. we might die. everything is fucking on fire. fire. fire. fire.” for quite a while now.

I don’t want to drown here, or burn here, or whatever violent analogy is ringing in your ears right now. I don’t want it. I want to get through this. I want us all to get through this. And I believe that we can - I have to believe that we can.

We are not in a temporary place of crisis. It may not always be as bad as this. There may be lulls in horribleness. But trust me, those lulls will get shorter and shorter, and the bad is going to get badder and badder. We are in end-stage capitalism. The wheels are coming off of this whole thing. And the promises that our exploitative and oppressive systems once made to keep us in line aren’t working anymore because there’s just nothing more to promise. The shareholders now require more profits than they can take and still keep workers fed or housed. The cost of your college education can’t keep up with the cost of groceries. The countries that we long robbed of natural resources have started kicking our companies out. The environment isn’t having any of our shit anymore. “Starter homes” cost a million dollars and homelessness has been criminalized. There’s no sugarcoating this. And when the government can’t placate us, when it can’t make promises that it never intends to fulfill without us calling bullshit, when we can’t be effectively pitted against each other because even those promised privilege at the expense of others know they are being screwed over -open unabashed fascism is all that’s left.

What we’re seeing coming out of the Supreme Court is the direct result of our failure to address the exploitative nature of capitalism and it’s increasing instability as more and more finite resources are siphoned off to the very privileged few. What we’re seeing in the removal of reproductive freedoms, increasing voter suppression, dozens of new cop cities, the increased criminalization of dissent and protest, the criminalization of poverty and disability and illness, the increase of police budgets, the suppression of student voices, the undermining of worker protections - it is all how oppressive powers are preparing for the final stages of the collapse that we have actively been in for years now. They are going to squeeze everything out of us for as long as they can and they know those days are numbered so they are going to be squeezing increasingly hard. We are the only ones not ready for this.

Really, I am so sorry for this very long and scary intro. I mean it. It’s stressful to even type it out. But there are some people still really in denial here. Some of y’all reading this don’t want this to be true - okay, none of us want this to be true. But it is. And it’s not all bad. Our capitalist colonialist system isn’t sustainable. It never was. It has to fall if we as a species are going to survive. But that’s quite the giant to fall, and a lot of us risk getting crushed in the process. So I’m writing this because I want us to take this seriously and be prepared.

And I don’t want us to give in to despair.

What? REALLY, IJEOMA??? After typing all of the above? I mean it, I truly don’t want us to give in to despair. I want us to have hope, and I want that hope to focus us and motivate us to action. So first, here are some things that I want to remind us all of:

1. This isn’t the first time our government has descended into open fascism. Our government has always on some level been targeting, silencing, and oppressing people. Usually it is done quietly, or with some great PR. But sometimes it’s quite open. Our government has enslaved people, actively committed genocide, has locked people in internment camps, has openly hunted down dissenters and encouraged others to do the same, has dropped bombs on it’s own people, has repeatedly censored the press, has incarcerated and murdered movement workers. And so much more. And we exist - you and me - because of how people have actively resisted that fascism and cared for each other through all of these nightmare times. Survival is in our blood because we are here even though our systems don’t want us to be.

2. We actually have the power to effectively fight this. It may not seem like it, but it’s true. I’ve been to countless protests this past year alone, and it feels like the words and actions of our “representatives” have barely budged. But the powers that be are terrified of us. Believe it or not, none of this works without us. They need our labor, our resources, they need us. And they are terrified that we will figure that out. That we’ll realize that they are doing more harm than good and we don’t need them, that we’ll come together and decide to tear it all down. That is why we are seeing the increase in fascism. That is why protestors are being demonized and criminalized. They want to stop this all before it gets out of their control, because it can get out of their control. They wouldn’t spend so many resources trying to suppress us if they didn’t have to.

We have a lot of work cut out for us. But we can do it. We have to.

I feel somewhat fortunate that I’ve been working to seriously address my complex PTSD these last few years, and that, at the same time, I’ve been working with and interviewing dozens of long-time movement workers. Because lately I’ve tasked myself with survival. That is my number one job right now: me and my family’s physical, mental, and emotional survival. I know that at least one of these (physical survival) is mostly outside of my control. We are witnessing horrific mass violence right now that we have what seems like no power to stop even while our government funds it. But mental and emotional survival, while I’m still here, that is mine. How we get through this, while we can get through this, is my main focus right now. And I need it to be yours too. You need a plan. I need a plan. We all need a plan. Or two or three. So as you try to figure out how to get through this, and as we try to figure out how to get through this together, here are some things to consider. You don’t have to do them all - not all will work for you, and you don’t want to burn out on trying to not burn out, you know? But in my work and my conversations with movement workers, here are some of the ways in which we’ve been surviving, and there’s a good chance that at least some of these will help you in the coming months and years.

How We Get Through This:

1. Give up on reform. Please pay attention to all of the evidence in front of us. This shit can’t be fixed. It can’t be redesigned. It can’t be salvaged. It must be torn down. Right now it’s so clear that the effort to maintain exploitative systems of power crosses all party lines, and that there is nobody we can elect to office who will change the system they are elected into in any meaningful way - because the system won’t allow it. Our representatives can’t represent us, they aren’t allowed to, and most don’t want to. And that doesn’t mean that harm reduction work can’t be done by some people in these spaces, but it means that at some point we have to admit that harm reduction is just buying these oppressive systems more time and putting off the inevitable, which is that we have to tear this shit down if we want to survive. So stop letting people sell you incremental change, stop putting your precious time and resources into reform that will never reform anything. And start supporting real, revolutionary work happening outside of our systems.

2. Strengthen your community connections. You are going to need people. Build friendships and connections based on community care. How much time are you investing in maintaining your relationships? Are you caring for others and are they caring for you? If this kind of care isn’t built into your relationships, now is the time to start adding it. I’m not just talking about friendships, I’m also talking about professional and movement relationships. I’m not talking about care in a transactional sense, but care that recognizes that your wellbeing is mine, and vice-versa. It’s time for our relationships to recognize and value the wholeness of people. And that brings me to the second tip…

3. Fully integrate your movement relationships into your life. Are you running into the same people at protest after protest and never seeing them in any other contexts? Are you on signal threads with movement workers constantly and yet you never talk about anything other than the next action? Now is the time to deepen some of those relationships. Now, you aren’t going to be besties with everyone you organize with, and you shouldn’t try to be. But we’re going to have to make movement work a much bigger part of our lives if we’re going to get through this, and so you need to be able to bring your whole self into these spaces in order for them to be safe spaces that affirm our humanity, and in order to better utilize our skills and talents. Support some of your movement homies in their other pursuits and interests outside of the next protest, because we are fighting for all that we are. And on that note….

4. Get a hobby or two. You’re going to need something you enjoy doing, something that is accessible and affordable, that can really take up your time and attention when you need it, and is completely unrelated to organizing work. You need that thing that you can do while your internal systems regulate and recover from the near constant state of panic and attack that these external systems want to keep us in. This is not escapism, this is crucial to our survival. We absolutely cannot survive in constant states of fight or flight. You need to be deliberate about cultivating activities that you can always access that will allow you brief moments of rest. For me, that’s makeup, reading, walking outdoors, and whatever crafty thing sounds interesting on Instagram. I have ADHD so while a few hobbies are constant in my life, my favorite hobby is finding a new hobby.

5. Get therapy if you can. Okay, I know that therapy isn’t accessible or easy for everyone. I know that there is a lot of privilege in being able to get therapy. But if you have the ability and privilege to get good individual or group therapy, please prioritize it. Getting a Black, queer somatic therapist has literally changed my life, and may well save it in the future. But if you don’t have access to therapy…

6. Pick up a meditation practice. There are some great meditation apps out there (free or paid) that can guide you through meditation and that ability to cultivate an inner sense of peace and an internal method of care is crucial. Now, if you aren’t down for traditional meditative practices, know that any regular practice that centers and calms you is beneficial. A good walk or bike ride, a music session, prayer, dance. Anything that connects you to yourself and allows you to really check in and center is important.

7. Set boundaries around trauma consumption. Yes, it is quite the privilege to decide when and how to engage with the horrors of the world, and it is a privilege that we can’t take for granted and that many of us do not have or won’t have in the future. But creating space for rest and joy is fundamental to our survival. It is work that we must do even in the hardest times, and it is work that those experiencing even the most extreme violence are trying to do as well. You cannot effectively fight these systems while you are falling apart. When this current genocide in Gaza really began to get underway, I felt like I could never look away. I felt like I always had to be witnessing, always had to be speaking out. How could I step away for self-care when so many were trapped in such horrific violence? I was an absolute wreck- my whole family was. For weeks we were just breaking down in panicked tears throughout the day. None of us were sleeping. Every bit of energy I had was going to Palestine, even as that energy rapidly decreased every day. It took some real tough intervention from my therapist in order to get to a more balanced place. But I had to believe them when they said that I couldn’t do the work I needed to do for Palestine if I and my family were falling apart. So I had to set some boundaries for myself. For a month or so I set strict time limits on my consumption of news. I still went in every day so that I could stay current on what was happening and continue to speak out and leverage my platform to try to raise awareness. But instead of just taking in horrific image after horrific image all day every single day, I looked for 20 minutes in the morning, then made posts and shared info, 20 minutes mid-day and more posts, and another twenty minutes in early evening with more posts. I took meetings and calls as needed, attended protests on the weekends, and took a few hours a week to write or make videos on what was happening. The rest of my day went to caring for my family, for myself, and keeping the rest of my work afloat. It was very difficult at first, but as the weeks passed I found that I could function again, and my work around Palestine was more focused and clear, and my family was in a much healthier place which reduced my overall stress as well. I’m not on a schedule most days now, but when I feel myself getting off-balance again, I return to it.

8. Know your community resources. Do you know who to call if you’re arrested at a protest or targeted by our legal system for speaking out? Do you have an accessible network for emergency medical care? Do you know whose couch you can crash on in a pinch? Do you know how to raise the alarm if fuckshit is going down and you need a quick community response? These are lists you need now, before you think you will need them. Put the list together and keep it on you.

9. Wear a mask. For the love of gawd please let’s not add long-covid to the things we have to deal with on top of this. We are going to need all of us if we’re going to get through this. Our disabled and chronically-ill community members are critical to our movements, and no movement that views people as expendable will ever succeed. And also, long-covid is very real and it is brutal. So many people I love are living with long-covid and the impact that it has had on their lives and, by extension, our communities is devastating. We have to care for each other. Wearing a mask is one of the vital ways in which we do so. I know that we all hoped we wouldn’t still have to be doing this four years later, but here we are. At very least, mask up during all covid surges, and in indoor gatherings, in places where people can’t distance, in grocery stores, in pharmacies, in doctors offices and hospitals, and at protests and community gatherings. How can we be fighting for each other while also risking each other’s health at the same time? Let’s show the loving care we need by masking up.

10. Support mutual aid and grassroots organizing. Stop giving money to big orgs and big political groups and start giving more locally and more focused. Our grassroots movements and mutual aid efforts have been getting resources more directly to those most impacted by our oppressive systems for generations now, and they’ve been doing so while being severely under-resourced. The burden on these groups and efforts is only going to increase as our established systems continue to fail us, and we will only be able to get the resources we need if these local efforts are as robust as possible.

11. Build robust information networks. Censorship is on the rise and it will continue to grow as our governments and large corporations become increasingly desperate to keep us in the dark about their crimes. So where are you going to get your information from? We know that it’s not mainstream news, but it’s likely not going to always be from our current favorite social media platforms either. So make sure you are diversifying your sources of information. Yes, use social media, but also follow independent news organizations and subscribe to newsletters and newsfeeds from independent groups and orgs. The more diversified our sources of information, the harder it will be to keep information from us.

12. Cultivate joy. Remember, we’re not just fighting against fascism, colonialism, and oppression. We’re fighting for us. We’re fighting for our lives, for our freedom, for our communities, for our children. There are so many ways in which our lives can be taken from us, and they can be taken from us while we are still living. How we live matters. Every day that we choose joy, that we choose justice, that we choose respect, that we choose connection, that we choose care - every day that we make these loving choices in the face of oppression and exploitation we are fighting for our lives and WE ARE WINNING. This fight isn’t sustainable if we don’t know what we are fighting for, and if we don’t fight for it every day.

So I hope this starter list helps you. Let me know what items you are doing already or plan to do, or what has been important to your current survival that isn’t listed here. Anything you can add helps. Let’s get through this together.