I ended 2020 2022 - ugh - with a storm that knocked out our internet for a week, so I wasn't able to write shit. It's finally working again today but I still don't want to write anything....so let's blame it on the outage too! Happy New Year y'all. I really hope 2023 is gonna be a good one.
“When you are angry with someone you’re still in relationship with them.” Thank you for reframing this for me. Time to let go of some anger, as I don’t want to be in relationship with certain folks.
I heard a thing about boundaries this past year that helped me, which was that boundaries are a way to stay in connection, sometimes by being physically apart but by giving others the understanding that you care about them and the boundary is the best way you know at the moment to maintain a feeling of connection. I found this also exposed where I was in a little bit of codependency 🥹
“And sometimes you cling to that anger, not so much as a measurement of harm, but out of fear of who you will be outside of a relationship that asked so much of you that you forgot all that you really are.”
Reading that reminded me (again) that I need to work on the flip side of this. It took a lot of therapy for me to realize that I’m overly forgiving not because I’m such a great person but because I fear who I would be and whether anyone would stay in relationship with me if I let myself really acknowledge my anger. You’ve given me a lot to think about.
That is the truth. When I learned that lesson for myself and let go of those relationships and the patterns of chaos, I felt lighter. I'm still learning, though. #continuousimprovement Happy New Year, Ijeoma!
GODDAMNIT IT'S 2023
"who you are able to share joy with says a lot more about love than who you are willing to suffer for."
I'll be chewing on this for a while.
Happy New Year.
“When you are angry with someone you’re still in relationship with them.” Thank you for reframing this for me. Time to let go of some anger, as I don’t want to be in relationship with certain folks.
Happy New Year!!
I heard a thing about boundaries this past year that helped me, which was that boundaries are a way to stay in connection, sometimes by being physically apart but by giving others the understanding that you care about them and the boundary is the best way you know at the moment to maintain a feeling of connection. I found this also exposed where I was in a little bit of codependency 🥹
Thank you for this post. Happy New Year! We love you back!
“And sometimes you cling to that anger, not so much as a measurement of harm, but out of fear of who you will be outside of a relationship that asked so much of you that you forgot all that you really are.”
Reading that reminded me (again) that I need to work on the flip side of this. It took a lot of therapy for me to realize that I’m overly forgiving not because I’m such a great person but because I fear who I would be and whether anyone would stay in relationship with me if I let myself really acknowledge my anger. You’ve given me a lot to think about.
Thank you, yet again, for putting into words how I have been feeling--happy new year, I hope it’s a decent one✌🏽
You two are so lovely. As is your writing.
If you wanted to write more on the forgiveness bit, I would be so interested. I read it and said: "Oh, there is wisdom here I wish I understood..."
Thank you for writing, whatever the hell year it is.
Happy New Year Ijeoma! Keep writing! I love to read anything you write!
And! May I share your words, “Who you are able to share joy with says a lot more about love than who you are willing to suffer for?”
Because that already wins 2023.
🔥🔥🔥
I love reading what you write.thank you!
That is the truth. When I learned that lesson for myself and let go of those relationships and the patterns of chaos, I felt lighter. I'm still learning, though. #continuousimprovement Happy New Year, Ijeoma!
Happy New Year, Ijeoma! I hope it's kind to you!