I loved every bit of this, even the parts that totally pissed me off like the fact that you and all black women have to endure the white assholes who run the show. Your grace under fire amazes me. And the interwoven stories of your teen created a beautiful thread connecting the whole story, certainly for any of us who have raised teenagers. All the frustration rolled into one big ball of caring, and love. You are quite a miracle. I am still pondering what the woman said about the activism of your make up moments, and it makes me smile.
One of the most powerful stories in I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings is when Maya has a tooth ache and her Gand Momma takes her to their local white dentist and this racist slime bucket refuses to see Maya- and Maya envisions how her Gandma thrashed this skinny little cowardly white man- and in the retelling/envisioning how her Grandma had all the power/anger/authority/agency so to did young Maya. It was a hilarious Bugs Bunny type ass whopping that her Grandma laid down on that little salamander newt white coward. I too and envisioning you whopping this racist white slime bucket’s ass back in Toronto and knee slapping laughing at the fall of that puny little man.
I was in the audience at the Hot Docs event in Toronto. I sat in the balcony! The balcony was full. A funny moment in the evening was when Ijeoma suddenly realized that there was a balcony and it was filled with even more supporters. I was proud of Toronto for showing out like that. I waited patiently in line with my partner. I bought 2 books and was more than a little starstruck as Ijeoma signed my books. Toronto and surrounding area is a very diverse and tolerant community but I've learned to never let my guard down for that's when they will get you; the racist sneak attacks. I am so sorry you had to endure this barrage of racist questions. You were gracious to not reveal the name of the asshole who mistreated you. I have some names in mind. Thank you for sharing glimpses into your life — the bad and the good. When you come home to the teenager who, despite their cool, just can't help but be excited to see you, you're reminded of the reasons why you continue to endure and fight. My reasons why are my two sons — both in their 30s. In the last several years I've struggled to maintain hope. Your conversation with Elamin restored some of my hope. The work is being done. There is more work to be done. I too can do the work. Thank you Ijeoma for doing the work.
Just received your signed book in the mail - danced a little joy jig! I appreciate learning the story behind the signature.
I’m also a mum to a teen and a tween, a little younger than your two, and the head spinning, heart squeezing way they love me and also work around me for their own sense of what is reasonable…. whoooo! I can understand how you are exhausted - you are holding boundaries, oh so many boundaries. I love how you’ve written about each person - yourself, your partner, your kids, your mom, yours kid’s father- as fully three dimensional humans. I felt you shared your challenges as personal to you, and also/yet not more important than the full lives of your family members. I’m sitting with that today.
Even with the anxiety attack I was really thinking wow this is going so well, when is the white man going to come in and fuck it up?? I’m so sorry that awful human ruined what sounds like a really great and rewarding experience. So glad you got home safely and that your kid was so insanely happy to see you. ❤️
I was in your Town Hall Seattle audience with my husband and we enjoyed every minute. You gave us so much to think over and discuss on our way home and beyond. Thank you for writing so beautifully about such important topics and being such an engaging speaker and communicator. I'm sorry you had that terrible interview experience and completely understand about how you go into survival mode and don't even consciously realize what you're doing. Congratulations on making it onto multiple bestseller lists! I'm excited to begin reading my signed copy of your new book.
Thank you for that! Thank you for always showing up! I know it takes a toll on our well-being. It takes a wagon of energy to fight racism. Sending you love, got your book!
Rebecca, sorry for any misunderstanding. I didn't say or think what you're suggesting.
None of us control what others feel, think, say, or do. I can only hope to manage my own emotions and try to control my own words and actions as I interact with others so we can truly share our thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams. I hope to move toward a place of greater understanding, compassion, and empathy of, with, and for other people. I can only hope to control my approach and response to others, even if it's a bit inept. Blessings...
Really appreciate your reflecting on what happened and why. I'm so glad you resisted screaming aloud (which is what your brain was doing) when confronted with someone behaving badly. I really think taking the high road was a lot more conducive to allowing that person to listen to what you were saying and how you were saying it. You said...
"I finished the interview. Signed his book. “Because you can!”
He cannot. He doesn’t want to.
That was it. That was the end of tour."
Perhaps 'he cannot' or 'doesn't want to' today, or even tomorrow, but maybe he will some day. Whenever you keep your cool and deliver your message and engage folks, you're planting a seed. Sometimes, we see those seeds sprout in our sight, sometimes in our lifetimes, but sometimes we have to settle for doing the right thing and hoping and trusting something good will happen down the road. I personally believe that no person is beyond redemption. I'm a work in progress. So is everyone else, and we're all in different spots. It's never an excuse for what happened to you, but it's hard for any of us to know why any individual is behaving badly at any place or time. Lots of people are carrying burdens about which we know little or nothing. Holding on to that humility helps me to handle these situations better. Hang in there and keep fighting the good fight! Blessings...JR.
I so hated to miss you in DC, but we are doing better now. This is so spot on for those of us who are “information” and “activist” celebrities. I’m so glad you got more support, at least stateside.
I loved every bit of this, even the parts that totally pissed me off like the fact that you and all black women have to endure the white assholes who run the show. Your grace under fire amazes me. And the interwoven stories of your teen created a beautiful thread connecting the whole story, certainly for any of us who have raised teenagers. All the frustration rolled into one big ball of caring, and love. You are quite a miracle. I am still pondering what the woman said about the activism of your make up moments, and it makes me smile.
One of the most powerful stories in I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings is when Maya has a tooth ache and her Gand Momma takes her to their local white dentist and this racist slime bucket refuses to see Maya- and Maya envisions how her Gandma thrashed this skinny little cowardly white man- and in the retelling/envisioning how her Grandma had all the power/anger/authority/agency so to did young Maya. It was a hilarious Bugs Bunny type ass whopping that her Grandma laid down on that little salamander newt white coward. I too and envisioning you whopping this racist white slime bucket’s ass back in Toronto and knee slapping laughing at the fall of that puny little man.
I was in the audience at the Hot Docs event in Toronto. I sat in the balcony! The balcony was full. A funny moment in the evening was when Ijeoma suddenly realized that there was a balcony and it was filled with even more supporters. I was proud of Toronto for showing out like that. I waited patiently in line with my partner. I bought 2 books and was more than a little starstruck as Ijeoma signed my books. Toronto and surrounding area is a very diverse and tolerant community but I've learned to never let my guard down for that's when they will get you; the racist sneak attacks. I am so sorry you had to endure this barrage of racist questions. You were gracious to not reveal the name of the asshole who mistreated you. I have some names in mind. Thank you for sharing glimpses into your life — the bad and the good. When you come home to the teenager who, despite their cool, just can't help but be excited to see you, you're reminded of the reasons why you continue to endure and fight. My reasons why are my two sons — both in their 30s. In the last several years I've struggled to maintain hope. Your conversation with Elamin restored some of my hope. The work is being done. There is more work to be done. I too can do the work. Thank you Ijeoma for doing the work.
Just received your signed book in the mail - danced a little joy jig! I appreciate learning the story behind the signature.
I’m also a mum to a teen and a tween, a little younger than your two, and the head spinning, heart squeezing way they love me and also work around me for their own sense of what is reasonable…. whoooo! I can understand how you are exhausted - you are holding boundaries, oh so many boundaries. I love how you’ve written about each person - yourself, your partner, your kids, your mom, yours kid’s father- as fully three dimensional humans. I felt you shared your challenges as personal to you, and also/yet not more important than the full lives of your family members. I’m sitting with that today.
I ordered a signed book. It arrived a couple of days ago. When I saw "because you can!" I cried.
Thank you for the book, and sorry all the book-promoting work you have to do is complicated by assholes.
Even with the anxiety attack I was really thinking wow this is going so well, when is the white man going to come in and fuck it up?? I’m so sorry that awful human ruined what sounds like a really great and rewarding experience. So glad you got home safely and that your kid was so insanely happy to see you. ❤️
I was in your Town Hall Seattle audience with my husband and we enjoyed every minute. You gave us so much to think over and discuss on our way home and beyond. Thank you for writing so beautifully about such important topics and being such an engaging speaker and communicator. I'm sorry you had that terrible interview experience and completely understand about how you go into survival mode and don't even consciously realize what you're doing. Congratulations on making it onto multiple bestseller lists! I'm excited to begin reading my signed copy of your new book.
You are amazing. Thanks for this.
Thank you for that! Thank you for always showing up! I know it takes a toll on our well-being. It takes a wagon of energy to fight racism. Sending you love, got your book!
What a great newsletter.
Rebecca, sorry for any misunderstanding. I didn't say or think what you're suggesting.
None of us control what others feel, think, say, or do. I can only hope to manage my own emotions and try to control my own words and actions as I interact with others so we can truly share our thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams. I hope to move toward a place of greater understanding, compassion, and empathy of, with, and for other people. I can only hope to control my approach and response to others, even if it's a bit inept. Blessings...
Really appreciate your reflecting on what happened and why. I'm so glad you resisted screaming aloud (which is what your brain was doing) when confronted with someone behaving badly. I really think taking the high road was a lot more conducive to allowing that person to listen to what you were saying and how you were saying it. You said...
"I finished the interview. Signed his book. “Because you can!”
He cannot. He doesn’t want to.
That was it. That was the end of tour."
Perhaps 'he cannot' or 'doesn't want to' today, or even tomorrow, but maybe he will some day. Whenever you keep your cool and deliver your message and engage folks, you're planting a seed. Sometimes, we see those seeds sprout in our sight, sometimes in our lifetimes, but sometimes we have to settle for doing the right thing and hoping and trusting something good will happen down the road. I personally believe that no person is beyond redemption. I'm a work in progress. So is everyone else, and we're all in different spots. It's never an excuse for what happened to you, but it's hard for any of us to know why any individual is behaving badly at any place or time. Lots of people are carrying burdens about which we know little or nothing. Holding on to that humility helps me to handle these situations better. Hang in there and keep fighting the good fight! Blessings...JR.
What a lovely job Ijeoma did tonight at Third Spacd Books. Well done sister!
I so hated to miss you in DC, but we are doing better now. This is so spot on for those of us who are “information” and “activist” celebrities. I’m so glad you got more support, at least stateside.
I adore you. I'm so sorry I missed the chance to meet you here in DC. You're amazing! 😍
Ferris Bueller over there trying to keep things spicy for you.
Thank you for sharing the good, bad, and bananas with us.